Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
