Already got asked if we're dating
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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