uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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