she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
