Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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