32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
