I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize