Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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