Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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