RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
