how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
