How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
