I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
