I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
