It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Are we still banned from the library?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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