So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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