R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
did i just pee glitter
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Congratulations! We have a period
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