Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
