i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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