Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
