Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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