I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
