in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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