I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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