the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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