mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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