I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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