I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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