Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize