just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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