I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
