did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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