they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
