dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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