I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
no you cant smoke seaweed
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
