"it" just moved
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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