just tell him i said nine months
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
