Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
