You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
