if you like me you must not know who I am
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
