She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
