I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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