I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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