Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
