The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im holly from the hills drunk
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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