He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
