we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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