k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
