Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize