i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
