Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
