Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think a kid would responsible me up
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
