we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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