i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
