Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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