No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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