even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
