that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
