She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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