do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
