Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've blown a few things in my day
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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