nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
