She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
