Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
