he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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