hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you win again, gameday.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
